Tom Baker - Speaker "Worry" To Bearden Rotary Club 1/15/16

Transcript

thank you Tom our speaker today is a gentleman by the name of Tom Baker he's a media veteran of 30 years he's homegrown and Tennessee bread Oliver that sounds like you that's kind of your Bine is it okay graduated from University of Tennessee with a degree in marketing and advertising he's been a radio personality and has produced commercials he migrated to the Ad Agency world as a copywriter and a commercial producer and found his passion in working television he became senior video editor at ran Productions then on to scripts where he worked on the launch of HGTV the divv network and the purchase of the Food Network and Travel Channel he left scripts to open his own TV production company Cobblestone entertainment I told about two or three people it was Cornerstone so I finally got it right ston entertainment 14 years ago during that time he produced hundreds of commercials and has been part of or produced even more television shows he also produced countless corporate and web videos for reasonal businesses uh included uh his clients were scripts networks Jewelry Television ORNL provision Pro cotton therapy and UT he's been married for 20 years has four children and four dogs and he has a book that's going to be coming out later this year and I'll let him tell you about it so if you could give Tom Baker a good rotary [Applause] welcome [Applause] you thank you Phil it's always nice to hear stuff like that about yourself isn't it it uh sometimes you listen to it you go that was me great delivery of that and I'm so glad I wrote it some of the things you don't hear about though when when you uh hear stuff like that or or or you have a resume you're going to uh prepare are things that uh aren't so impressive uh what's not on that list that he had is I lost two jobs one uh from being laid off one from being fired and uh if you have haven't ever I suggest being fired at least once in your life it is a ride that you never forget uh but but a lot of good things come out of it um and another thing I want you to know about me is I'm a lifelong I'll consider myself a professional I'll even consider myself an expert in worrying how many worriers do we have here today A few the rest of you you are lying I'm I'm kidding um I come from a long line of Warriors my father is here tonight uh Dave Baker some of you know him uh but one of the world's most wonderful fathers I am so fortunate uh to have him and um just an example uh and I'm sure neither one of us are proud of this but uh toward the end of college after living on campus for a while here uh they uh they had a wonderful home that had a private apartment downstairs and goodness live at home for a little while build up some money so uh I did and um I would inform my mother and father of the approximate time that I might come home that night and I learned a little bit later that my mom uh told me that whatever approximate time I would give them if I didn't show up he'd be pacing the floor at 2: 3 in the morning so I understood a little bit about worrying but uh what what a son does is tries to take what his father does and and improve on it I did I uh I took it about 15 more steps what what is worry right it's a harmless little word uh you know some people say uh I'm worry it doesn't sound so bad right I worry about them cutting my hair too short you know it's it's little things but when you have a chronic worrier when you have a professional worrier you worry more like is it going to cut my ears off right is he going to cut it so short that I lose the next job interview or whatever worry worry is a is a difficult thing for some people some people are pretty good at handling it some people take it a lot further than necessary I'm one of them worry plus one is stress worry plus I'm sorry stress plus one is anxiety okay what is the one I don't an illustration go with me um anxiety plus one is fear fear plus one is a deep step into depression and I promise those steps can happen all in one day sometimes uh what I want to go with you about is a little bit about the journey I have taken into worry and some things I've learned from it that I would consider helpful to those who might struggle with worry a little example um 25ish years ago Phil said I've been married for 20 years uh very happily but I was married once before went through divorce went through child custody issues and there was one particular day that stands out to me in this uh thing anybody who's gone through divorce or knows somebody's gone through divorce I would say that would include most everybody it stinks ain't nothing good about it I don't care how amiable a divorce is it's difficult and there was one day after depositions or a child custody issue I don't remember what it was um I had just hung up with my lawyer on my bad phone remember that um and I was driving and without realizing I was so consumed with what was going on in that particular day in this proceeding and how the dreams that I had of my life totally disappeared I was not going to see my daughter uh any more than uh every other weekend however that all works out um and I was driving and ran straight through a red light didn't even hit the brakes I was so consumed and I wasn't on the phone at the time and through the grace of God passed through about three cars in this intersection went this way that way that way ended up in the grass medium untouched and after checking the seat uh for any debris um I pulled over in the parking lot and I you know after then prayers and then I I began to worry that I was worrying too much it's it's it's a it's a vicious cycle and it's it's something that can affect your health we I was talking to someone just a little while ago it's something that can help your affect your health in in a lot of ways um and just think about this for a minute I'm going I'm going to do some statistics um 92% of Primary Care Health visits the doctor and this doesn't include runny nose this doesn't include broken arms this is more for probably people over 15 or so 90 90 to 92% of those visits are stress related in some way see people nod in their head the number two most prescribed prescription is stress related it only is second to antibiotics all right it is linked worry stress anxiety is linked to the top six leading causes of death cancer liver problems lung problems suicide accidents like I almost had it is some doctors call the number one proxy killer and um it is it is something that can be very serious when I went through an issue I'm going to tell you I'm going take you through the Journey in in a minute but I lost 30 lbs due to stress over a a 2-year period And there's something to this that we can put ourselves through to uh to uh to try to deal with it um anybody take a guess there there's all kinds of worries there's a worry about health there's a worry about money did anybody take a guess on what the number one worry in America is money money I I I would think health I mean so many categories fit into those two things the number one worry is appearance you can be debt broke you can be laying up in a hospital but you better have your hair brushed it's crazy but we it's all how we appear um and one more statistic for you is between 90 and 93% of the things we worry about never happen above 90 8% of the things that we worry about actually happen um in my life included in this 8% we've already talked about divorce we've already talked about job loss we've talked about um child custody issue I've also been through two accidents that involved car rolling I've had a call for uh one of my daughters who was in uh the outer edge of North Carolina on a mission trip the first mission trip that the mom or dad didn't we didn't go to and we got a call that my child was in an air evacu evacuation helicopter going to the hospital because she was electrocuted on top of a roof a little little bit to worry about um I have two daughters actually four children but two daughters right now who had just one just begun to drive and the other one just got her learner permit the first time and everybody in this room knows this feeling the first time they around the corner by themselves and you go wait definition of worry maybe you have two choices you can sit there all day and go what if the car pulls out in front of or you just say I pray I taught him right three years ago maybe I guess it's four it's 2016 um as Phil said I'm in the TV business uh just an amazing business to be in it is so fun every day is a little bit different you get to create you get to help people um create their dreams um I uh for 14 years now I own my own TV production company um for those of you who own businesses or or around the money part of the businesses TV is expensive um especially a few years ago in the past 14 years uh I have a piece of equipment I was telling Phil this I have a piece of equipment that is still in operation it's the size of a small suitcase it's a tape recording deck it's a highdefinition tape deck for professional use it cost brand new $62,000 for this little box and uh that just represented as you know cameras are expensive um and also the people who work in television if they're any good they're expensive about 2005 or so after I got my feet wet in this uh business running ordeal um it really went well every year for about 5 years it doubled every year I think I found something I like I was blessed it was wonderful and until 2011 I staffed up I got appropriate equipment to handle this much business it was uh it was a wonderful ride uh as a lot of businesses do and though in that time period it all stopped I wasn't necessarily prepared for it to stop but it did and it was right in the middle of a few projects and and some projects canceled some projects were in definitely postponed some projects went to New competition some projects just went away or the promise of them went away it happened uh kind of surprisingly um and I was in the midst of a lot of debt and it was scary um I made the choice idiotic if it will one probably one of the more bigger uh dumb choices I've ever made in my life but I kept my employees I had six at the time and they were all good they were friends they had families that I was uh they were depending on me um I didn't want to let them go if I let my employees go how would it look to the community they went down the tubes they don't have the the manpower to do the equipment I didn't want to let them go I didn't want them to have to deal with finding another job at that particular time uh in this uh in this economic slump it became scary um I made that idiotic choice of keeping them instead of paying the IRS talk about sweat talk about looking the devil in the face the person I dealt with at the IRS wonderful person the power they had is frightening it was it was so scary and knowing in in in a quick amount of time I had business savings gone on very fast um I had people that I owed Graphics companies that you pay lots of money to make logos and whatnot um I had voiceover aors I had people that I'd worked with for years who trusted me I owed them money and I don't sleep well when I owe somebody money um the IRS if you have ever heard or had experience with once they put a lean on your business and the bankers in here know this ain't nobody going to help you you kind of on your own all of a sudden a lean on your business is is uh it's kind of a brand problem so waking up in the morning going to the mailbox for bills that you can't pay that's where worry turns into stress turns into anxiety turns into oh my word what are we going to do um I'm the Soul Provider at the house which I'm there a lot of people here who are um in my mind the first thing that kept popping up first thing in the morning failure it became so difficult to deal with this kind of pressure it consumed me it was so it was like a fog I couldn't see beyond the edge of my hand it was scary there was a time with my mom and dad at the time they could get around a little better than they do now my wife was dealing with her sick mom they asked me and uh our three children who were in town to go to the art museum with them wonderful wonderful plan I was so consumed with this monstrosity I missed the day completely I was disengaged I was scared I I was I'm sure looking at the floor the whole time it's a day that I will never get back I know that there are plenty of people in here who have dealt with a lot worse issues than this this is what I will treat as an example for you because when you worry that much when you consume yourself and people I've talked to said the symptoms that I was showing was was in the Depression era I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me I want you to be glad because I found a way out of this the strength and I'm not going to preach to you today but the strength that I found in faith not only carried me it was the way out but I want to I want to share with you some of the things that took me from that place to the place where I am now where I am now is just an amazing Place fog think about it for a second fog seven blocks This Way Seven blocks this way hundred ft high in fog that you can't see beyond your hand scary place disorienting really don't want to move much do you know how much moisture is in that amount of fog if you were to liquefy that anybody have a a guess 14 gallons good get anybody else this much fog 100 ft High seven blocks Square would not fill a glass of water I read it on the internet trust me it and and the and the reason I I I say this is because fog as scary and as disorienting and as weird as it is if you go above it or outside of it it's gone it's temporary it's not as bad as it seems the 8% of things we worry about happen the 92% don't the most popular selling book of all time says this for I know I have the pl I know the plans I have for you plans to prosper you and not harm you plans to give you hope and a future after many times of crying yelling scared out of my mind and whatever else goes along with that picture my wife who was a rock in this situation kept guiding me back to that scenario that I just said there is a plan we will all struggle we will all face difficulty but how you deal with it is is the answer how you how you face it it's not what happens it's how you deal with it you hear that all the time but when I figured out that the struggles that I had gone through in my life I've listed a few and I looked back on those and figured out that in each one of them divorce job loss business struggling like crazy there's blessing in it there's strength to be gained if you allow it if you don't cave to it if you look at it on the surface it's bad but in each one of those situations I have been able to help somebody with that same problem somehow miraculously I have helped some people who went through divorce and now I volunteer for the Knox Works uh program that that the Knoxville Leadership Foundation has people who have lost their jobs and are are very hopeless and I'm able to relate to them people who have very serious issues the first the first person they're going to talk to and listen to and actually react to is somebody who's been there right who has the most powerful testimony it's it's somebody who's been there when you're when you're dealing with worry it's it's it becomes very selfish there's a disease called pride pride is a kind of disease that everyone else sees it but you right worry is just the opposite Stress and Anxiety you try to hold it in and you try to carry the big face but inside you're just torn to pieces and what does it do to your professional life what does it do to your home life you shut everybody out you miss all the blessings that are around you when you're focused on this one problem and this one problem is just a chapter in your life it will end and this particular thing in my life did end yes I laid off all my employees yes I sold a lot of equipment but I learned something about myself I can fight it I didn't quit I didn't stop praying I didn't stop having faith I questioned a lot but I saw this pattern and I felt it there's strength within me that I didn't know I had the business is still on the doors are still open I'm working by myself now all these people I had I did one thing I watched what they did and I asked questions and now I'm doing business with companies around here scripts included still I'm having the time of my life it is I'm having a blast all these things that that being boss man I had to tell everybody what to do or watch over them now I get to do it myself myself which is the most fun of all what a blessing is that I want to I want to how we doing I want to give you a few a few ideas I mentioned faith and I told you I'm not going to preach but the faith that I had it kept coming back to this everything is ultimately going to be okay what do we worry about more more than anything we worry about change we humans hate change I like it just like it is and what we usually never see about change is more often than not what is about to change is going to be better and I never saw that divorce the wife I've had of 20 years is the love of my life and my biggest partner in in in good and bad and what I also learned is what we focus on is usually tomorrow and what we worry about are things that are going to maybe boy if that happens that's going to stink us worriors those who raised our hands and we honest about it um what we do is we play this scenario over and over and over in our heads and say this is going to I know this is going to oh this is going to be awful and 92% of the time it doesn't but if you focus on today if you focus on what is important today and I'm going to do my best today it lightens the load and it keeps your focus and you know the things that you have to do today to to to do it the best you can you can get it done tomorrow tomorrow we'll deal with that we'll deal with tomorrow when you're focused so much on yourself and I mentioned selfishness of worry when you focus on other people you look around there's so much need in this area you know a lot of people deal with what's going on in other countries there's there's need right down the road if you focus somehow on some else's needs other than your own the worry goes down to about here it's still there we all worry it's there things that that's just human human nature we're going to think about things that might happen when you let them consume you as I did then you you kill yourself if you think about what you're worried about change we we talked a we talked bit B about money what do we worry about losing our stuff right are valuable stuff when I when I went through this problem when I went through these difficult times n out of 10 times I was worried about the house the cars the IRS had papers to all that stuff that said if you don't pay those are mine and I was consumed with losing our stuff and what I didn't focus on was the fact that I have a family that loved me and were going to stick with me and I had a family support no matter what happened it was going to be okay it really is it it it's it's it was useless for me to worry but my worst nightmares like I said became my biggest blessings so now when I'm faced with issues and did I mention that worry starts over every day we think we have this beat and today oh my word it's a daily struggle but if you take the attitude of this is a challenge and I'm going to beat it one way or another I've got strength I'm going to beat it then it it doesn't seem so difficult if you treat them as challenges and not defeats then it can happen you can feel you can feel the strength of wanting to deal with it I'm excited about tomorrow never in my life have I been excited about tomorrow until now I can't wait to see what I'm going to need to pray for it is it is exciting to me to face struggles to know that either I can help somebody else through those struggles I don't even know what I'm going to face yet or I'm going going to be uh in in in strength to build to build the strength I have to deal with something else let me leave you with this I'm going to read this because I wrote it you can't have a rainbow without dealing with the rain you won't appreciate Joy without knowing pain you can't get to the mountain top if you're afraid to start and you'll never have hope unless you have faith in your heart thank you for your time [Applause]